If you read this website and blog, you know I’m [read more]]]>  
It’s pretty rare that we come upon something that seems magical, even miraculous. Something that seems to defy logic, that doesn’t exactly make sense but it works every time. Today’s post is about a principle that fits that description.

If you read this website and blog, you know I’m a student of productivity. I enjoy looking for ways to accomplish more with the time, knowledge and resources I have. Well, this may be the greatest simple truth about productivity I’ve encountered:

Less is more

It never seems to fail that when I finally quit trying to do 3 things at once, get more done.

Like everything else on this website and blog, this ain’t “new news”. It’s just something I have to remind myself about frequently, kind of like an addict who has to take it day at a time and just try to get it right today.

Here’s a list that a marketer I follow published on his blog, which you can read here. It’s a list of suggestions for simplifying so you can get more done. In getting more done, hopefully that translates to reaching your goals sooner, and in reaching more of them.

Join me in getting more done, by focusing on “less”.

• delete contacts from phone
• cancel appointments you are not looking forward to
• stop recurring services you no longer use
• shred paperwork and dump it
• remove some of the ToDo items from your list
• donate unused clothes and toys to charity
• purge your inbox and unsubscribe to ‘gurus’
• declutter your office
• remove excess furniture
• clear whiteboards
• sell assets you no longer use
• empty your wallet
• clean out your glovebox
• tidy the house
• avoid people who waste your time or mess your mind
• delete files on your hard drive
• uninstall apps you no longer use
• delete browser bookmarks
• clean up your desktop icons
• empty the bins
• give away books or courses you have used

Each take a different approach, but once you get the approach figured out [read more]]]> What type of goal are you pursuing? I classify goals based on the activity I must perform to achieve them:

• Progressive activities (performed step-by-step, like working on a project)
• Recurring activities (performing the same behavior daily, like exercise)

Each take a different approach, but once you get the approach figured out it becomes a matter of following the plan. I like that; just know what I need to do each day and then hold myself accountable to getting it done.

Progressive Activities

Progressive activities, like planning a vacation, buying a house or learning a new skill, are accomplished by moving from one task to another. It’s a step-by-step walk, and the great thing about these kinds of goals is that we can easily see our progress with each step we take.

The key, for me at least, is to know every day before I walk out the door what those specific steps or actions I must take are. If I know what I need to do, and keep that task or list of items in front of me, I won’t feel right if the day ends and I didn’t get it done.

Recurring Activities

Recurring activities are a little trickier for me. These are things like losing weight, which require that I do the same thing every day. Take a walk, be sure I record what I ate, and record my weight. Same thing … every day. Those can be easy once they become regular habits, but they are also tough because they can get mundane. Jerry Seinfeld came up with a good approach to handling recurring activities that I wrote about here.

And what, you ask, does that [read more]]]> It’s funny when you start to pay attention to something, it seems like it starts showing up everywhere. I have a friend who said she never particularly noticed pregnant women until she became pregnant, then she started seeing pregnant women everywhere.

And what, you ask, does that have to do with setting goals?

Just this. Lately I’ve been thinking about how goals affect happiness, and I started noticing the same message about how we’re happiest when we’re pursuing and achieving (or at least moving closer to) an important goal in our life. I believe that’s certainly been the case in my life, and it seems it’s universal.

One of the places this message “popped up” for me recently was in an ezine I received, and I wanted to share it here:

“We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we’ve established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile.”

— Earl Nightingale
 
Don’t worry ….. be happy …… work toward your goals.

If that sounds familiar, here’s one set of ideas to help answer to that question articulated [read more]]]> Why is it that regardless of how clear they may be about what they want, or how solid the plan, some people just never seem to realize their hopes and dreams (goals)?

If that sounds familiar, here’s one set of ideas to help answer to that question articulated well here in a post by Alexandra Levit, career advice columnist for the Wall Street Journal that I noticed recently at ZenHabits.

Self doubt, which frequently involves a belief about ourselves which has no relationship to reality, has long been responsible for undermining attempts to reach our goals. Check out what Alexandra has to say about it:

5 Great Ways to Conquer Self Doubt (Let go of those doubts)

Self doubt has been something I’ve struggled with all my life, from debating whether I could get into a top tier university to believing I could succeed as a writer. It’s a very human emotion, and it’s made worse for some people because of life experiences or temperament. Self doubt also makes you feel alone. Sometimes you think you’re the only person in the universe who suffers from a crisis of confidence, and you wish that you could be more like your successful, self-assured neighbor. Well, I guarantee that your neighbor doubts himself every now and then too.
You won’t ever be able to rid yourself of doubt entirely – believe me, I’ve tried. But I hope that these suggestions will lessen your pain when dark thoughts are all around you.
Go back in time: The first step to overcoming self doubt is to recognize that it’s there in the first place. Think about the circumstances that are leading you to feel insecure, and see if you notice any patterns. Are there particular situations (for example, dealing with a new boss, speaking in public) that prompt you to feel this way? Make a note of times in the past when you doubted yourself but ended up coming through with flying colors. Knowledge and recognition of your past successes will bolster your courage regarding what you can achieve in the future.
Defeat the doubtful thoughts: In one column, write a doubtful thought, and in the opposite column, write facts that dispute that doubtful thought. For instance, suppose you are afraid to invite a new colleague to lunch because you’re afraid you won’t have anything to talk about and she won’t like me. Statements that refute that thought might be: “We can spend at least an hour talking about the office culture here and what she did before this” and “She will like me because I’ve made a sincere overture to get to know her better.”
Keep an event journal: If you are a person who experiences a lot of self doubt, then it’s time for a test. In the course of a single day, write down all of the things – simple and complex – that you accomplished without a hitch. These can be things like “ran productive staff meeting” or “had great talk with Brandon over coffee.” Then, write down the things that didn’t go so well. You will inevitably notice that the list of things that went well far outweighs the list of things that didn’t, and this will hopefully allow you to see your doubt in a different light.

Call on your cheerleaders: Often, our loved ones can see our lives much more objectively than we can. Being a natural introvert, I sometimes doubt my interpersonal skills, and when someone doesn’t respond to me in the way that I expect, I occasionally get paranoid. It always helps to call one of my best friends so that she can assure me that I do in fact have a lot of wonderful relationships in my life.
Celebrate your successes: When a situation in which you doubted yourself turns out better than you expected, don’t just nod and smile and move immediately on to the next thing. Take a moment and reward yourself for a positive outcome. Do something you enjoy like going to your favorite restaurant or eating a delectable dessert. Taking the time to cement positive emotions in your mind will hopefully make the doubt disappear more quickly next time.
Alexandra Levit is a columnist for the Wall Street Journal and the author of the new book “New Job, New You: A Guide to Reinventing Yourself in a Bright New Career.” If you’re struggling with what to do with your career in the New Year, visit www.newjobnewyou.com for free tools and guidance.

1. When tempted, [read more]]]> It’s been far too long since I’ve posted, but this one absolutely wrote itself. These are 10 ideas that have served me well, and it just occurred to me that they need to be shared. Here they are, in no particular order:

1. When tempted, think “I’m not saying ‘no’, I’m just saying later”.
“Never” is a hard argument to sell. “In a few minutes” is much easier. If I’m considering a dessert I know I should skip, I try telling myself “not right now”. And mean it. If I still want it in 30 minutes, I dig in.

When you’re working on a tough project and want to take a break, you can always hang in there for another 20 minutes.

A similar collary to this run is the “just a little more” idea. When you’re running and you’re getting tired, it’s easy to convince yourself to go another 50 yards, but another 3 miles will result in taking a break.

2. Remember that “this will pass.”
When I’m having a tough time, or even when I’m seriously unhappy or frustrated, I try to remind myself that whatever’s going on will pass. As long as the issue is an emotion, it ALWAYS does. Just knowing that something will end eventually, regardless of what you do, can be an inspiring or comforting thought.

3. “_____ would love to trade places with me”. (fill in the blank with whoever you please)
When I’m thinking my life/job/relationship/debt/whatever sucks, it always help to get things in proper perspective, which I do by remembering that someone out there would love to trade places with me. This is not intended to persuade myself that bad is really good, it’s simply a rational and productive way to practice appreciation. Just lost your job? Try to get sympathy from a family in Haiti. Going through a painful divorce? Consider the prospects of a single senior citizen with no children living in a nursing home.
It’s all about perspective.

4. To prevail, think bigger.
Most of us tend to follow the path of least resistance. If you’re truly unhappy with your station in life and want to change it, think big. Not making enough money? Get a law degree. Start a part-time business doing something you love. Not saving as much money as you’d like? Start an online business that can make you $5k/month in a year or two. If the problem is getting a nail into a board and your hammer isn’t working, get a sledge hammer. It’ll work.

5. Remember that failing is simply part of the process. Everyone has failed.
Ever read about the string of failures Abraham Lincoln suffered (click here)?
Fired from a newspaper because he “lacked imagination and had no original ideas” – Walt Disney
He was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation for a job after interviewing for a job as an engineer, leaving him jobless for quite some time. He started making scooters of his own at home, and spurred on by his neighbors, finally started his own business. – Soichiro Honda
Learning the right attitude about failure greatly increases your chances of success

6. Winners are very good at handling, and managing, frustration and disappointment.
If you think you’re the only one who gets frustrated, think again. Successful people just don’t stop. Either they know how they will prevail, or they know that quitting won’t help, or they believe in the tortoise and the hare analogy. Whatever it is, they manage their frustration and keep going.

7. Optimists see failure as due to things that they can change.
If you see a failure as due to something you can change, you ahve a reason to try again. If you tell your self, ‘Oh well, nothing I can do’, it’s game over.

8. Identify the problem, then actively work on solving it. There is always an answer, but first you have to recognize something as a problem.
Relationship not going well? Figure out why.
Boss is a jackass. What do you need to learn to be able to handle him.
Plagued by low self-esteem. Search until you find out what confident people know that you don’t.
Career stalled? Figure out what you need to do to get it going.
Life is, among other things, a series of problems, things that aren’t going the way you want them to go. Unless you’re happy with everything in your life (more power to you), then you’ve got some problem to solve. Unfortunately, a lot of people just wait for things to change (passive), instead of conceiving some idea to try to solve their problem (active). And the first solution doesn’t work, come up with another one and try again. Rinse, lather, repeat.

9. We do better when someone’s watching.
It’s a simple fact. If we’re being observed, if our results are being recorded (even by ourselves), if we have to report our results to someone, we perform better. Just like gravity. If you want to improve your performance, get as many people watching as possible.

10. Think long term.
Most dumb decisions are short term ones. Drugs are a great short term solution. The long term potential of a life of gambling is not good – just ask Charles Barkley. Long term thinking improves short term decision making. Got that one from Brian Tracy, and it’s true.

Bonus: You don’t have to solve every problem. Hire an expert.
We don’t have to figure everything out ourselves. If you can find someone who’s successful (and I mean VERY successful), hire them to tell you how to solve your problem. Or find someone who’s studied that field for 20 years – they’ve probably got some good suggestions they could share. Why do we think we have to do it ourselves?

Apply these 10 ideas as needed during your day and I guarantee improvement in your life.

With all of these books around touting the benefits of affirmations, Psychologists became curious to know whether they actually worked.

They brought together many different subjects, having various degrees of self confidence and told them to repeat positive [read more]]]> Everything You Need To Know About Happiness

“Happiness” courtesy of Zhong Bioa

The truth about affirmations

With all of these books around touting the benefits of affirmations, Psychologists became curious to know whether they actually worked.

They brought together many different subjects, having various degrees of self confidence and told them to repeat positive statements about their self confidence such as “I am confident” and “I am worthy”

What was found is that confident people felt more confident after the experiment while those who lacked confidence felt even worse.

The explanation is simple, when you repeat a statement that matches your inner belief system your subconscious mind will be reminded of the statement and will let you feel good if it was a positive one, on the other hand if you tried to force your subconscious mind to believe in something against its belief system it will sense the deception and so make you feel guilty.

In short, affirmations can never make you happy if you weren’t already happy nor can they make you more confident if you weren’t already feeling confident.

We are not the same

Read as much as you can about happiness and you will find that most of the sources describe happiness in a different way. Some people will tell you that true happiness is in success, others will tell you that its in fame a third group will tell you that true happiness is being rich.

Everyone describes happiness from his own perspective without putting in mind that humans, unlike ants, are completely different and that what makes Sam happy would never make Sarah happy.

The conclusions is, everyone has his own belief system and according to it his own true happiness differs from others. The key to becoming truly happy to first understand the things that really make you happy then go on a quest to bring them.

Happiness and unmet needs

If a person lived his life suffering from poverty then became a millionaire he will be the happiest man ever (provided that money was his only problem). Research has shown that normal people who win the lottery return back to their original mood after getting used to it but those who have financial unmet needs never get used to the things they missed in the past.

Happiness In short can be achieved by understanding your unmet needs and working on fulfilling them. If your unmet need is intimacy then money, fame or positive thinking won’t make you happy but only intimate relationships will.

Find your unmet needs, work on fulfilling them and you will discover real happiness. If you are Hungary then nothing will make you feel good except eating and if you tried to drink instead of eating you will still feel Hungary.

Happiness is the absence of bad emotions

Happiness can also be defined as the absence of bad emotions. If you had a fight with one of your friends in the morning you are less likely to feel happy that day because of the anger you experienced.

Many of us follow life styles that promote stress, anger, frustration and other bad emotions. Even if emotions weren’t intense still they would never allow you to feel happy if they existed.

You must learn how to avoid stress, negative people, unneeded quarrels and any other source of negative emotions that can be avoided.

Happiness and incorrectly set priorities

Ask anybody about his priorities and he will tell you that happiness is one of them, ask him about the things that he does in life and he will reply saying that he hates most of them.

How many people work at jobs that they hate then claim that happiness is a priority in their life?
How many people stay in abusive relationships yet claim that they want to live a happy life?

If you really want to be happy then happiness must be considered a priority that has an impact on the decisions you make in your life.

To summarize this all, becoming happy is all about understanding what makes you happy then doing it and knowing what makes you feel bad then avoiding it.

M.Farouk Radwan is the Founder of http://www.2knowmyself.com, The Ultimate source of self understanding. 10,000,000 Visits and counting.

“Focus your time and your life on your highest talents and [read more]]]> The following article is excerpted from content in Robin Sharma’s popular CD program, “Manage Your Time, Manage Your Life”“. Pursuing goals is all about knowing where you are going, so I thought Robin’s thoughts would be relevant here.
———————————————————

“Focus your time and your life on your highest talents and dreams.”

I turned 40 a while ago and I am spending a lot of time reading obituaries. I get rejuvenated when I look at people’s obituaries and look at the lives they’ve lived. The differences that people have made inspire me.

As we reach the half-time point of life a lot of us begin to reflect on whether or not we are living the lives we want to live. We ask ourselves, “How can I make a difference?” We ask ourselves this important question because the biggest regret of all is reaching the end of our lives and realizing that we walked the planet in vain.

The Story of Peter
I want to share a story with you on this point. It is about a little boy named Peter. Peter was a child who could never live in the moment. He could never present his gifts to the world; he was always in a rush to get through life. He’d be in class and he’d want to be on summer vacation. He’d be on summer vacation and he’d want to be on Christmas holidays.

One day this little boy was walking in the woods and he came across a patch of grass. He laid down and fell asleep. Suddenly, he was roused by the sound of his name.

“Peter. Peter. Peter.”

He opened up his eyes and could not believe what he saw. In front of him was an ancient woman with snow white hair. In her hands she held a ball. In the center of the ball was a hole out of which dangled a long piece of thread. She looked at him and she said, “Peter this is the thread of your life.”

“What?”

She said, “This is the thread of your life. And if you pull on it days will go by in minutes and if you pull it a little more weeks will go by in days.”

“Do you want it?” she asked.

Peter said, “Absolutely. I’ll be able to fly through the boring parts of life.”

The next day he was sitting in class, not enjoying the moment or experiencing the gifts of the day. Then he remembered the ball, so he pulled it out and tugged on the thread. Tug, tug, tug. The next thing he knows He’s on summer vacation.

He said, “This is fantastic!”

He pulled out the ball again. Tug, tug, tug. The next thing he knew he was a teenager.

He said, “Well, being a teenager is great but now I think I need a girlfriend.”

So he grabbed the ball and pulled on the thread again and found himself with a pretty young girlfriend named Elise.

He said, “This is great but I don’t want to be a teenager anymore. I want to be an adult now.”

The next thing he knows he’s married to Elise and the couple has two wonderful children. Then he noticed that his once jet black hair was slowly turning grey. His once vibrant and vital mother was growing old and frail.

Perturbed, he pulled out the ball and tugged on the string again. The next thing he knew he was an 85-year-old man. As for his wife Elise, she had passed away years earlier and the children were grown up and leading lives of their own.

For the first time in his life, he became very sad. He realized that he had not used his time and had not experienced life fully. In his sadness he walked out to the woods that he had loved as a child and found that patch of grass and he laid down to take a rest.

All of the sudden he heard his name being called, “Peter, Peter, Peter.”

When he opened his eyes he couldn’t believe what he saw. It was the old woman with snow white hair and she looked at him and said, “Peter, how have you enjoyed this gift I gave you so many years ago? Have you lived life fully? Have you been your best?”

He looked at her and said, “At first I loved this gift. I could fly through life quickly. I was always on the move. But now I realize that I didn't live life. I didn’t watch the sunrises, I didn’t make great friendships. I didn’t give my potential to the world. I didn’t make a difference. It was all a waste.”

The old woman looked at him and said, “Peter, you’re a very ungrateful man but I’m going to give you a second chance to live your life over again.”

Confused, Peter went back to sleep. Then, he heard his name being called again. But this time he couldn't believe what he saw. It wasn't the 100-year-old woman. It was his mother. And she was young and vital and laughing.

She shook him awake and said, “Peter, you silly little boy. You've slept in again. It's time to go to school.”

Peter realized that it was all just a dream. He stared at his mother. Looked out the window at the day and went off to school grateful for every moment.

The point of wisdom from that story is that every one of us knows that we’ll never have a chance to live our lives over again�”yet so many of us postpone living. Here’s the big idea: you will never have a better time to play your best game. Most of us postpone being better at work until our children grow older. Or we postpone traveling until we have more time. Or we postpone taking better care of our health until we manage our workload better. Yet there will never be a better time to play your best game and shine as brightly as there will be today. Chinese philosophers once said the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second best time is today.

Elite performers understand that life is short�”there may not be another chance to be great.

Robin Sharma is a renowned leadership expert and best-selling author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. This article is excerpted from content in Robin's popular CD program,Manage Your Time, Manage Your Life”.