Achieving Personal Goals

OK, here goes. I have a confession to make ……

I have a vice. No, it’s not drugs, or alcohol, or gambling. For me, it’s probably more powerful than those things.

I am a Self-Help Junkie

I am interested in, and fascinated by, the field of Self-Help

Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich). I’ve got most of their books, and I even read them!

Now if you’re skeptical, let me suggest that at it’s core, self help is a simple concept. The basic premise of self help is this: Success leaves clues.

Man has been on the planet for centuries, and the answers to most of mankind’s problems have been worked out centuries ago. There are no “new” fundamentals (one of Jim Rohn’s quotes)

But I’ve recently come to understand something that is kind of a dirty little secret in that industry, it’s something no one wants to say, but it’s true …..

About half of what is published in the Self Help literature doesn’t work. That …. is a fact.

Now you disagree with that statement, I would just ask you to let me make my case.

Consider this example:

One guy is a perfectionist. Give him a problem and he’ll analyze it, study it, develop a comprehensive plan to attack it, have the plan reviewed and updated. Everything but actually get started doing something.

On the other hand is impulsive guy. He can’t wait to get started. His idea of a plan is 2 points jotted down on the back of a napkin, and that’s 1 point too many. Forget planning, full speed ahead.

Perfectionist guy needs to hear messages like “fortune favors the bold”, “seize the day” and take action.

Impulsive guy needs to hear messages like “look before you leap”, “failing to plan is planning to fail”, etc.

Buy wait a minute – This is confusing! Those two messages are diametrically opposed.

And if you ask me which principle is correct, I will tell you…. IT DEPENDS!

It depends on what problem you have, on where I am on the continuium. What problem am I trying to solve?

If you are a perpetual procrastinator, you need the advice to take action.

If you tend to hop on every bandwagon that comes along and get started before you are even sure where it is you are heading, messages about planning, strategy and foresight are required.

But we tend to pick up a self-help book, read it and probably like it’s ideas, but if they’re not the solution to a problem we have, they won’t produce any change.

So you see, it’s really not that one approach or the other is wrong.

It just depends on where you are, what you need.

One size does not fit all; one piece of advice does not solve every problem.

The wisdom is not just in the message, but it know which message you need to embrace

That’s why it can be helpful to have a trusted friend, or spouse, or coach, or counselor, who can help us identify clearly which problem should be solved, so we come up with the right solution.

THAT’S PART ONE OF THE SELF HELP FORMULA

Even when we know ourselves, and we seek out and find the right message to change a situation in our lifes for the better, we still have to turn that idea into a habit.

And habits require repitition.

And we generally don’t stick with anything long enough to make it into a new habit.

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” Henry David Thoreau

So my message to you is this:

1. If you choose to embark on a journey of self-improvement, be careful and choose the right messsage for the change you are seeking, and

2. Understand that having the right information is only part #1 of the solution. Part #2 is spending the time and energy necessary to make that thought, belief, or behavior a habit in your life, so that you can reap the benefits you were seeking.

I’ll leave you with this thought:

Comes from Oliver Wendell Holmes, the famous lawyer who served as an :

“The great thing in the world is not so much knowing where we stand, as in knowing what direction we are moving.” Oliver Wendell Holmes, Justice on the Supreme Court from 1902 to 1932)

If you want to change the direction of an area of your life, get the right solution to your problem, and repeately hold the thoughts and behaviors in your life until they become habits, and self-help can enable you to make meaningful changes in your life.

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A lot of this website is devoted to the mechanics of setting and achieving goals. Things like selecting the right goal, being clear and specific about what your goal is and why you want to achieve it, providing you with forms for writing a good plan, how to stay motivated, etc.

These are useful, important subjects which were, in my case at least, very beneficial to my progress and things that definitely needed to be learned and understood.

But there’s another aspect to achieving goals that I don’t think I’ve given enough attention. It involves the issue of what and how we think – having the right attitude, belief in key principles, understanding how expectations affect performance, achievement and success in general.

There’s plenty of evidence that how we think determines much of what we get in life, and plenty of great people throughout history who have confirmed it, yet not everyone fully understands and works at it. That’s why I’ve littered this site with quotes of famous, successful people, to illustrate that certain ideas are consistent to those who realize success:

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.” – William James (1842 – 1910)

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” – Marcus Aurelius Antonius (121 AD – 180 AD)

“They can conquer who believe they can.” Virgil (70 BC – 19 BC)

“High expectations are the key to everything.” – Sam Walton (1918 – 1992)

““High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.” – Charles Kettering (1876 – 1958)

Most of the process of getting our head right is enbodied in the acronym HABE (Habits, Attitudes, Beliefs and Expectations), which I wrote about here.

This is also why I’m such a proponent of loading your mp3 player, car CD player, iPod, etc. with audio of people like Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Jack Canfield or Tony Robbins and listening to them regularly. These guys have devoted their lives to studying, understanding and teaching achievement (realizing achievement is getting whatever you want) and passing that wisdom along. Learning these principles makes the journey not only easier, but more enjoyable as well.

My listening is not limited to those people, but also anyone with bright, insightful ideas. Seth Godin is a great example. He’s a successful entrepreneur, Stanford MBA, etc, but he’s also just a damn smart guy. He has something to say that clarifies my view of life nearly every day. Robin Sharma is another who has a create message; John Maxwell is another. Find someone who has a ‘voice’ you feel speaks to you.

Things like thinking right about persistence and focus.

Understanding, managing and using failure to move us closer to success.

Optimism, i.e. how important it is to our motivation to remain optimistic that continued effort will pay off.

Character. The idea that how we are, truly are, is far more important than reputation (how other people ‘think’ we are) and that strong character will enable you to hold yourself accountable, even though no one else knows what you’re holding yourself accountable to. Knowing you will do what is right whether someone is watching or not.

If the teachers I promote here don’t resonate with you that’s fine, but find someone who you have determined is a credible, knowledgeable teacher in the area you seek to conquer and get plugged into them.

Find great information, and listen to it as often as you can.

Time and effort invested in getting this kind of knowledge is huge, in my opinion. If we have the right attitudes and beliefs it seems our eventual success is virtually insured. Yet sometimes I’m afraid this kind of ’soft skill’ emphasis might be viewed as less essential. In truth, I would say it’s quite essential. It seems successful people in all pursuits and walks of life have one thing in common – they think in ways that produce the results they want. It’s the same idea promoted by Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”.

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Today I’m just updating an prior post (1/2/10).

I just read an interesting post by Seth Godin on his blog today, where he is referencing a post he made 10 years ago. Below is an excerpt from that post. It’s about taking advantage of opportunities, but he also speaks to the idea that we should not let our talents go to waste or be unfulfilled:

“The thing is, we still live in a world that’s filled with opportunity. In fact, we have more than an opportunity — we have an obligation. An obligation to spend our time doing great things. To find ideas that matter and to share them. To push ourselves and the people around us to demonstrate gratitude, insight, and inspiration. To take risks and to make the world better by being amazing.”

About Seth

OK, now back to my original post on Oct 17, 2009 ….

It’s easy to take the path of least resistance. It’s easy to just get by, to run on cruise control, and to pursue things that are easy or safe. There’s only one problem with that (well, at least one) – it robs you, and it robs others, of the benefits of your gifts and talents.
 
I guess this idea depends on whether you hold the belief that we each have unique gifts (call them talents, aptitudes, passions or whatever you like), that we each have something unique and valuable to offer. I believe we do, and I think we have an obligation to use our gifts (a) so they are not wasted, and (b) so that others can benefit from them.
 
The good news is that if you’re willing to get in the game and make use of your gifts, everyone can win.
 
You win, because most of the time, the satisfaction we receive from an activity is proportionate to the commitment and energy we put into it. By investing in the development of your talents, it’s more than likely you will find satisfaction and fulfillment that would have otherwise been missed.
 
Others really win, because your gift and talents are then shared and they can experience the benefits that otherwise would have never been possible.

“The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.” – Leo Tolstoy

So…

• If you know what your gift is but you’re not using it to it’s full potential, set a goal that describes how you will start to use it, and when.
• If you’re not sure what your gift(s) is, your first step is to set a goal to start trying new things until you find it (it’s out there somewhere!).
• If you know your gift and are already using it, set a goal to use it to accomplish something bigger, grander and more audacious then ever before, so that it makes the biggest impact possible.

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