Achieving Personal Goals

I was listening to Darren Hardy’s excellent book (audio, in my car) “The Compound Effect” when the pieces of the process of goal accomplishment really seemed to fall into place. Obviously from my interest and effort into this website, I spend alot of my time thinking about and practicing the habits, processes and ideas of goal setting. As I was listening to the Compound Effect though, all of a sudden each of the pieces seemed to fall perfectly into place, and a way I hadn’t quite seen before.

I know that all sounds a little vague, but the following outline is the progression of the steps that seemed all the more clear to me. These steps, executed consistently, will reliably, predictably lead to achievement. And isn’t that the purpose of having goals in the first place?
 
We see each of these ideas in the outline I will reveal below, and on their own each is completely valid. Just like saying “without gasoline, the car just won’t run” is true, but it’s also true that you better have 4 tires with air in them too. And the driver must also know how to drive a stick shift, and must also know how to reach the intended destination. You get the idea.
 
So talking about a key principle or tactic is clearly relevant to achieving goals, especially if it’s a principle that you’ve overlooked, have not been implementing, or weren’t aware of. If it’s the missing piece to your puzzle, then you may feel like you’ve struck gold, that this is the most important piece of information you’ve ever received. To some extent, that’s true – but it also may be unique to your situation.
 
But what if that totally valid, legitimate piece of information is not the, or one of the, missing pieces of the puzzle for you. What if you’ve got a full tank of gas, but the emergency brake is set and you don’t have the knowledge to release it. What if the tank is full, but you’re in San Francisco trying to get to Pebble Beach without a map?
Even more valuable than a single, key piece of information, is to have the entire process laid out, and having it include not only WHAT to do (fill the tank with gas, put the car in gear, drive to your destination) but also HOW to make each of those elements happen.
 
Once everypiece of the puzzle is followed, then the beauty of the “compound effect” begins to take effect. I genuinely believe this is the key missing element for most frustrated achievers, because it’s effects are not readily apparent even though you may be following your plan perfectly. Albert Einstein called the principles behind the compound effect the most powerful force in the universe, and the examples are evident everywhere.
 
Now the “formula” for achievement is complete, and a complete formula invariably leads to the intended outcome.
 
In the same way that a recipe for chocolate cake that omits one key ingredient (butter?) cannot produce a good cake, a formula for success and achievement that omits one of the steps, or doesn’t include directions for HOW to perform each step, may leave you trying to figure out why your cake tastes … well, bad.
The steps below are the comprehensive outline for not only WHAT to do if you want to make an important change in your life, but also HOW to make that change occur. It’s the completed puzzle. If you omit part of the process, just like your chocolate cake when you forget to add water, you aren’t going to get hte end result you were expecting.

1. I’ve Got A Problem: Recognizing there’s something in your life you want to change (financial, weight, relationship, fitness, career, etc)
2. Begin With the End In Mind: Getting specific about exactly what outcome you are seeking Motivation: Understanding clearly what the benefits, the payoff is
3. Skills/Strategy: Figuring out how to get there
4. Choices: Staying aware of what you need to do each day to make that happen
5. Consistent Awareness: Keeping it on your mind continually
6. Actions / Behavior: Until it becomes a Habit
7. Secret Ingredient: Record your activity

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Setting goals, making plans, keeping focus, visualizing the outcome, all the things that we know about the value and benefits of setting Goals comes down to one simple principle. It is:

• Where we want to go tomorrow, drives what we need to be doing today

Restated in a slightly different way, where we want to be TOMORROW will be determined by what we do TODAY.

It’s like a rule of human behavior: future intent determines present action. Where we want to be is the key factor in driving what we need to be doing today. That’s why if you want to know how someone really feels about something, pay attention to what they do, not what they say. If their actions don’t reflect a geniune intent to make something happen, we can be certain that it won’t.

The reason reading blogs and websites like this one is important is that this kind of idea, this line of thinking or belief, is critical to making the right choices. Once we understand what the rules are, once we believe in the right principles, taking the correct action becomes easy.

Remember though, we do still have to take the right action! I think the missing ingredient from The Secret was the fact that, as Einstein once said, “Nothing happens until something moves”. I’m not aware of any repeatable scientific evidence which shows that sitting and wishing for something is sufficient to make it happen. But when we marry the right thoughts to simple regular action, the results become virtually inevitable.

Thinking makes it so. That’s why successful people are able to remain successful. They think better than others do. How they think about money, service, work, planning and setting goals leads them to make better decisions and get better results.

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A lot of this website is devoted to the mechanics of setting and achieving goals. Things like selecting the right goal, being clear and specific about what your goal is and why you want to achieve it, providing you with forms for writing a good plan, how to stay motivated, etc.

These are useful, important subjects which were, in my case at least, very beneficial to my progress and things that definitely needed to be learned and understood.

But there’s another aspect to achieving goals that I don’t think I’ve given enough attention. It involves the issue of what and how we think – having the right attitude, belief in key principles, understanding how expectations affect performance, achievement and success in general.

There’s plenty of evidence that how we think determines much of what we get in life, and plenty of great people throughout history who have confirmed it, yet not everyone fully understands and works at it. That’s why I’ve littered this site with quotes of famous, successful people, to illustrate that certain ideas are consistent to those who realize success:

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.” – William James (1842 – 1910)

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” – Marcus Aurelius Antonius (121 AD – 180 AD)

“They can conquer who believe they can.” Virgil (70 BC – 19 BC)

“High expectations are the key to everything.” – Sam Walton (1918 – 1992)

““High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation.” – Charles Kettering (1876 – 1958)

Most of the process of getting our head right is enbodied in the acronym HABE (Habits, Attitudes, Beliefs and Expectations), which I wrote about here.

This is also why I’m such a proponent of loading your mp3 player, car CD player, iPod, etc. with audio of people like Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Jack Canfield or Tony Robbins and listening to them regularly. These guys have devoted their lives to studying, understanding and teaching achievement (realizing achievement is getting whatever you want) and passing that wisdom along. Learning these principles makes the journey not only easier, but more enjoyable as well.

My listening is not limited to those people, but also anyone with bright, insightful ideas. Seth Godin is a great example. He’s a successful entrepreneur, Stanford MBA, etc, but he’s also just a damn smart guy. He has something to say that clarifies my view of life nearly every day. Robin Sharma is another who has a create message; John Maxwell is another. Find someone who has a ‘voice’ you feel speaks to you.

Things like thinking right about persistence and focus.

Understanding, managing and using failure to move us closer to success.

Optimism, i.e. how important it is to our motivation to remain optimistic that continued effort will pay off.

Character. The idea that how we are, truly are, is far more important than reputation (how other people ‘think’ we are) and that strong character will enable you to hold yourself accountable, even though no one else knows what you’re holding yourself accountable to. Knowing you will do what is right whether someone is watching or not.

If the teachers I promote here don’t resonate with you that’s fine, but find someone who you have determined is a credible, knowledgeable teacher in the area you seek to conquer and get plugged into them.

Find great information, and listen to it as often as you can.

Time and effort invested in getting this kind of knowledge is huge, in my opinion. If we have the right attitudes and beliefs it seems our eventual success is virtually insured. Yet sometimes I’m afraid this kind of ’soft skill’ emphasis might be viewed as less essential. In truth, I would say it’s quite essential. It seems successful people in all pursuits and walks of life have one thing in common – they think in ways that produce the results they want. It’s the same idea promoted by Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich”.

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The process of setting goals is not too different for most of us whether we are very young, a teenager or an adult. However, starting the process of learning about goals for teenagers is an important step toward learning valuable life skills. This page covers 5 of the most important goal setting tips for teenagers to help them learn how to set goals properly, pick up useful problem solving skills and ultimately realize achievements that will last them a lifetime.

Lesson One: Just Get Started

Developing awareness of the very concept of setting a goal, having some sort of plan, and following that plan can be a huge benefit to a teenager who is in the process of learning valuable life skills. Learning to set a goal, even a simple one, produces a shift in mindset from waiting until something happens for me, to choosing what I want from life and understanding that I can define and follow a plan that will allow me to reach it.

Lesson Two: The Long Term View Is Always Best

Ideal goal setting requires perspective, but youth by definition involves a lack of perspective plus generally impatience and a desire to get things done immediately. When we’re young we simply don’t know that we are likely to overestimate what we can do in the short run, while we don’t have the experience or perspective to realize just how much we can be accomplished over a period of time if we aim for a consistent target (goal). One of the greatest assets of youth IS time, and helping teenagers understand that life is a marathon, not a sprint, can provide them with the perspective needed to make smart choices and set worthy goals. For example, an extra 2-3 years in graduate school is insignificant when compared to a 30 year career doing what you love, but sometimes the notion of another year of school just doesn’t seem worth it. But …. life is a marathon, there’s plenty of time to lay a proper foundation.

Lesson Three: Making A Plan Is Smart

Many time teenagers view a challenge or a goal as a ’seat of the pants’ effort, i.e. they make an quick, emotional decision to jump in and get started without stopping to consider all their choices. Knowing the importance of creating a thoughtful, well considered plan (written or not, although written is much better) that will describe the steps to lead them to the goal, and getting advice and counsel from someone who has already accomplished that goal, is an incredible advantage. Learning how to make a plan to reach a goal is a skill that provides a teenager an incredible advantage over someone who has no clear direction.

Lesson Four: The Difference Between Important Stuff and Unimportant Stuff

The Pareto principle, also known as the 80/20 rule, is an important concept to impart to a teenager who is just learning about achievement. It’s widely known that generally speaking, 20% of our activities or tasks will contribute as much as 80% of our results (e.g. studying to academic achievement), but that’s not necessarily intuitive. Many people, adults included, make the mistake of confusing activity with progress. Helping a teenager realize that some activities contribute far more to achieving their goals than others can help them make better choices. Working smart by focusing on the high impact activities can produce more results with less effort than working hard on “busy work” is a huge lesson.

Lesson Five: The Power of Rewards

If you have or know a teenager and they are willing to share one of their goals with you, regardless how large or small, seize that opportunity to make sure they are rewarded for milestones achieved along the way. Helping a teenager begin to form the mental connection between (a) taking action toward a goal and (b) the progress they make toward that goal is important, and periodic rewards is a useful technique to insure that happens and they stay properly motivated.

Helping teenagers understand these 5 keys can help put them start to develop skills that will serve them well throughout their lives, and put them on a path of success and achievement that will add meaningful to their lives. Knowledge and wisdom are wonderful things, but sometimes they require a benevolent teacher to get the point across.

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It seems there’s a natural progression or trend to virtually any aspiration, desire, target or dare I say it …. personal goal. I think it goes something like this:

1. We have an idea, epiphany or “ah ha!” moment when you are certain that your life would be better with (or without) something (less weight, more money, better relationship, better job, etc).

2. The energy produced by the idea in #1 is channeled and we create a plan to achieve our goal, either in our head or on paper.

3. We set about implementing the steps in our plan, with the determination and enthusiasm of Rudy (click here if you’re not familiar with this notorious sports reference).

4. Now somewhere around week 2, we realize we’ve been working at this hard, with true passion and zeal, and nothing (or not much) is happening (how can this be?).

5. Despite a voice in your head saying “these things take time”, you begin to reevaluate your priorities, rethink your epiphany and weigh just how important this goal really is.

6. A few more days go by, your effort lessens a little, still no results or rewards, and it’s becoming even more likely that this wasn’t such a great idea.

7. Finally somewhere around week 2 – 4 resignation sets in, we made a minor miscalculation in the assessment phase of this goal, and we decide that we really didn’t want it that bad after all.

Maybe this isn’t exactly you, but it’s a fairly typical model for how alot of people approach goal setting and making changes in their lives. You don’t have to look any farther than New Year’s Resolutions to see that this is true. Research tells us that at least 80% of all such resolutions are broken by Jan 31, and in fact 90% are abandoned by Jan 15 if they are related to health and fitness activities.

Sounds grim, I know. However the truth, as they say, will set your free. Realizing this pattern, this tendency, can allow us to go into the goal plan with the proper mindset and attitude to greatly increase our chances for success. Following these 3 simple steps will provide you with ammunition to deal with disappointment, disillusionment and frustration.

1. Take the long term view.

It’s not news that we’ve all to some degree joined the immediate gratification, “get ______ quick” (fill in the blank as you choose) society, and that leads to unrealistic expectations and the wrong attitude. Before you decide to pursue this goal, consider whether it’s worth turning into a life habit, or at least whether you’re willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it.

2. Decide if you’re willing to invest effort over an extended period of time without getting results.

Similar to the immediate gratification idea in #1 above, this relates to the principle of deferred gratification – being willing to put off reward today in return for greater rewards later. It’s a rock solid principle (think college education, retirement savings plan or regular exercise), but it does fly in the face of immediate download movies on cable tv or “pizza in 30 minutes or it’s free” (or whatever the ad says). The easy stuff comes quickly, but many times the good stuff isn’t easy.

3. Recognize and prepare for “The Dip”.

One of my favorite authors, Seth Godin, coined this phrase (I think) in his book of the same title. The point of the book is that it can be smart to know when to quit, which I agree with. But the greater message in my opinion was that most people quit when things get tough, frustrating, don’t show progress, etc, and that’s exactly where the opportunity lies. Following through on worthwhile goals that most people give up on is one of the things that makes the achievement so valuable. We do, however, have to be willing to stick it out through “the dip”, that phase where the progress is hard, the rewards are not obvious and it’s easier to rationalize the goal and give up.

I like the analogy of the artist who loves sculpture. He meticiously strikes the rock in just the right place over and over, until it finally cracks in perfect form. The last strike was the one that seemed to produce the results, but in fact it was no more important than every one that preceded it. But he had to hang in there as long as it took.

Other tips include picking things that are attainable, create a system that encourages you to include these things in your day, utilize some form of accountability partner and track or measure your progress. But start by taking the long term view and plan to invest your effort as long as it takes, even without measurable reward, through the hard times. This is a good test to determine if you’re really committed to the goal, and if you decide to proceed then you’ll find your success rate at achieving your personal goals is quite good!

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Forget about tomorrow??? Uh, hold on there just a minute.
 
I thought all the smart people in the Achievement and Productivity fields were saying things like “Begin with the end in mind” and “plan ahead”? Doesn’t that mean to be forward thinking, plan tomorrow’s agenda, and all that stuff?
 
Well, sort of. One of the key challenges to achieving our goals is frustration and let’s face it, frustration kills motivation. One very effective way to deal with frustration, though, is by focusing on the long term view, which eases the pain of the “day-to-day” frustrations, delays and setbacks. When I have my eye on my long term dream of (“your goal here”), I know that a single setback won’t deter me.
 
So no, I’m not exactly saying “forget about tomorrow”, just DON’T let the tomorrow become the horizon for your strategic focus.
 
Here’s the key takeaway: Most of us tend to overestimate what we can do in the short run, and underestimate what we can do in the long run. By focusing less on the short run and keeping our eye on the eventual target, it helps keep things in perspective and makes today’s setback not so painful and, consequently, not so frustrating and de-motivating.
 
I work in an IT dept, and the standard of most software projects is that they tend to run over schedule and over budget. Part of that’s because it’s a very complex process, but it’s also owing to the notion that we tend to look at things “generally”, i.e. with less than perfect clarity. From a distance they look easier/less challenging than they are after we get into the details.
 
So what?
 
So, by planning to get too much done tomorrow, and falling short – consistently, we end each day frustrated, disappointed, and certainly having to revise our plan for tomorrow to add today’s unfinished tasks. Sound familiar?
 
The lesson here, I think, and the wisdom of recognizing this tendency, is that it tells us it’s useful to keep a longer term view of things. The unexpected can always derail a short term plan (can you say “recession”?), but a 6 month, 3 year or 5 year plan is much more likely to be successful because it levels out the unexpected delays, and in business it eliminates ALOT of the competition who, as we discussed above, got frustrated and moved on to the next, easier target.
 
Next post: The Science of Career Motivation

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